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SELF​-​APPOINTED KILT INSPECTOR

from POG MO THOIN by Alternative Ulster

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  • POG MO THOIN - 13 track CD
    Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    13 Tracks of Bagpipe Rock & Roll - Pog Mo Thoin, Drunk as Fuck, This We Will Defend, Paddy’s Green Shamrock Shore, Krampus, Ghetto Piper, Irish Wake, Free Beer Tomorrow, Haggis, Self-Appointed Kilt Inspector, Stairway to Reason, Ladies from Hell, Sgt. McKenzie

    All songs composed by John McGovern, Todd Henry and Jay Andersen, except Paddy's Green Shamrock Shore (The Chieftains) and Sgt. MacKenzie (John Kilna MacKenzie).

    All songs performed by John McGovern, Todd Henry and Jay Andersen, and recorded, mixed and mastered by Jay Andersen at Operation-Audio / BohemeSphere in Saugerties,NY

    Lyrics by John McGovern

    Includes unlimited streaming of POG MO THOIN via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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lyrics

I stride strong into the pub,
My kilt sways to and thro,
Alas back by the bar,
Is a fat, old drunken ho.

The self-appointed kilt inspector,
She’s no man’s dream for sure,
She thinks she being clever,
When she’s acting like a whore.

“What’s underneath your kilt?”,
She giggles out with glee,
And starts walking to me,
To cop a feel for free.

The self-appointed kilt inspector,
She’s no man’s dream for sure,
She thinks she being clever,
When she’s acting like a whore.

“Now hold a minute lassie,
Cease your sexual assault”
You do not meet my standards,
And that’s your own damn fault.


The self-appointed kilt inspector,
She’s no man’s dream for sure,
She thinks she being clever,
When she’s acting like a whore.

Now, I’ll never strike a lady,
But she no lady be,
Just a drunken horny slob,
Who’ll lay no hand on me.

The self-appointed kilt inspector,
She’s no man’s dream for sure,
She thinks she being clever,
When she’s acting like a whore.

For standing right behind me,
Is my lovely wife,
You lay one finger on me,
She’ll fucking end your life.

The self-appointed kilt inspector,
She’s no man’s dream for sure,
She thinks she being clever,
When she’s acting like a whore.

So begone evil wench,
Crawl back underneath your rock,
This pub is not a farmyard,
And I’m not your crowing cock.

The self-appointed kilt inspector,
She’s no man’s dream for sure,
She thinks she being clever,
When she’s acting like a whore.

credits

from POG MO THOIN, released February 11, 2018

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about

Alternative Ulster New York

Founded in March 2015, Alternative Ulster hails from NY State's Catskill's region. Members are John McGovern on bagpipes and banjo, Todd Henry on vocals and drums and Jay Anderson on guitar and bass as well as all recording and mixing. While recording their Christmas CD, the lads needed a lady for the female lines. Wendy Henry's singing so blew them away that she's now a full member of the band ... more

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